Non Sequitur, and the many facial expressions of Maggie

These are the sorts of conversations I get ambushed by all the time.

I was walking back from the coy machine, minding my own business...

Have you been by Lamberts lately?
No.  Not in...probably 5 years.
Well we were there last Sunday and, you know, they added on that new room?
*cue pleasant, but confused face (while thinking about how I would know this, not having been there in more than 5 years)*
Well, they turned the gift shop into another room for eating.
Ok?
Mom said that the biscuits didn't taste right.  So I thought maybe they were under new ownership or something.
*cue interested, but unknowing face*
I didn't know if anything had been said about it?
Not that I know of. 
Okay, well I just didn't know if anything had been said.

Why would I know this?  Is this related to the church somehow?  Where would it have been announced?  From the pulpit?  During intercessory prayer?  "Dear Lord, be with the new owners of Lamberts and with their flour, that it might make biscuits whose aroma doth please even you"?

I have no idea why I was the recipient of this gem.  Maybe I was just the passerby that happened to be there when the thought hatched.  But it seems as though this is at least part of why God has put me on earth, to hear, appreciate, and wonder at the full spectrum of weird and wonderful that is humanity.

Don't make me climb over this organ...

I have this reoccurring dream, a part of which involves trying to get from the 5th floor balcony of my (2 story) undergrad performance hall to the 6th.  The issue is that there is no direct stairway, rather a catwalk that somehow involves going aaaall the way around the inside rim of the auditorium, a basket ball goal from my elementary school, a pull-down attic ladder (just the ladder), and a ramp made from pieces of board held together with duct tape and string, all with no hand rails. 

In last night's rendition of the dream the basket ball goal had been replaced by a double organ console that I had to scuttle over while carrying raffle items to the 6th floor.  I snapped, and while swearing a blue streak about what total nonsense this whole arrangement was, I drew a blueprint for stairs using a black and white photo and a red sharpie, very Wile E. Coyote-esq.

Stress dream?  Probably.  But bottom line, don't make me climb over organs while carrying Beanie Babies.

What do you call a New Year's resolution when you make it in June?

I think I'm going to call it Donna.  Or maybe Joan.  Or Tim.

I have decided that I'm going to do something every day that makes me uncomfortable.  I'm not talking creepy or dumb stuff (like blindfolding myself and walking across a highway) but simple stuff like introducing myself to people.  Yes, I've been at Annual Conference for three days so I'm thinking about these things.  I know it will be good for me, but I'm going to hate it.  Personal growth's a...well, you know.

Also, today is Pentecost and I've been wearing purple.  And it's bothered me ALL. DAY.

Maine Preview

So I went to Maine for a class on rural ministry, and I'll tell you more about it later.  In the meantime, here is a preview:

This, in my experience, is what passes for the "lighter" side of many menus in rural areas.  AmIright?  My favorite is the "hot dog plate".  What is it?  It sounds fancy...but it's made of hot dogs...my brain!