Victory!

I bought a $125 bathing suit today for $6.50.  I feel like that's a personal victory.

Dinosaurs Aren't Just for Kids

It's been a long couple of days.  Actually, from a school work perspective, this has been the week I've been dreading.  On top of all my regular assignments and reading, I had a paper due yesterday at noon, a project due today at 5, and another paper due at midnight.  In addition to that this is the week I have my intensive class, so we met for 3 hours last night and all day today.  This means that my normal routine of working steadily on half of a project for a couple of days and then frantically finishing it at the last minute wasn't going to work...times three assignments.  In addition Desi's dad and step-mom are visiting Boston and are staying with us.  While it's great having them here (they really are fun people, and it turns out I share a birthday with not only Brittany Spears, but also Desi's step-mom -- that was a hilarious conversation) it's just another schedule-busting event.  But it's over and now I get to have fun!

But before the fun: today for class we went to Harvard's arboretum.  We just got to wander for an hour.  I found a spot and just watched.  I saw a bunch of cardinals (male and female) and another kind of black bird I couldn't identify.  Plus, I saw some squirrels and a snake!  It was nice to see trees, and touch new grass (didn't pick it since I don't have a vase) but I spent 4 hours on the train in total where all I could think about was the paper I wasn't working on.

This reminded me of the hillside at Grandma's where Josh, Em, and I used to build forts to keep the Gerries out.  Josh was obsessed with Gerries.  Emily and I just liked being outside.

I love all the different colors of green in tree leaves, especially as the sun shines through them.

 So Desi's folks are staying in our living room.  We had friends over tonight so that they could all meet Desi's family, so I made minestrone soup and we served a loaf of homemade bread (we make the communion bread for church and it always makes two loaves -- that's right, communion every single week).  The soup was really, really good.  Desi made me use a recipe (but I didn't follow it...ssssh...).

Ben brought wine and we ate and laughed and talked.  It was fun.  Then I went and finished my paper.

 Nothing screams "adult meal" like a dinosaur Ramen spoon.  Truthfully, I don't remember anymore where I got this spoon, but it has always made me happy.  Somehow it ended up in Boston with me, and it still makes me happy.

Tomorrow I'm going to Providence, Rhode Island with Haley, Lauren, and Evan, and then on Monday I'm going to Maine.  Happy Columbus Day weekend!  I guess I'm conquering new lands...?  But in a totally non-colonial sense. 

But let's be real, you'd be lucky to be in any colony I ran.  I'll let you know when applications are available.  That's right, applications -- I'm not taking just any Joe Schmoe.  But if you know a Joe Schmoe let me know; that'd be some feather in my colonial cap.

Even when you live to be 89, life is short. Make the time count.

My grandpa passed away Monday evening.  Though it was somewhat sudden (he was still driving himself around until 10 days before), it was on his terms, for which we are thankful.  He slipped away just minutes after we headed out for dinner.  For the last 36 hours we were able to hold his hands and talk to him, letting him know that he was loved and how much we appreciated all he'd taught us. 

Sunday night we gathered to let him know it was okay to let go.  We talked and told stories and laughed -- things we do even in the darkest of times.  I'm sure the hospice staff and others in hospice care and their families wondered what we had to be so joyful about.  During that time my aunt Kathi said what a privilege it was to be able to help Grandpa the last few years.  As my cousin and I sat with him Monday night before dinner we talked about what a perfect word that is, privilege, and how what we were doing with and for him these last several days was in fact a privilege.  Then I kissed his head, stroked his hair, and told him we'd be back after dinner.  And then he was gone.

Some of you knew my grandpa.  Some of you weren't that lucky.  He was a loving and generous goofball, a protector of his family, and someone who you could always count on.  He also built me a Barbie couch out of 2x4s, let me do his hair but never let me win at checkers, let me tag along in his woodworking shop, and taught me how to install doorknobs.  Once, after we did his hair in tiny pig tails all over, he killed a tiny snake in our dining room with a steak knife.  He was a mighty hunter.  Every night my mom and my aunts have been together in the kitchen cracking each other up and telling stories.  We know how to be broken and yet whole because of Grandpa.  He is one in a million. 

 

I don't find death as devistating as some do.  I've never been able to put together the words to explain why.  My aunt called it his 'heavenly adventure', which I like the sound of, but for me it's more than that.   Yes, I believe that Grandpa is better off where he is (better off than where I am, to be sure), and that I'll see him again, and those seeming platitudes aside, death is just another part of life.  For me there is something as sacred about the end of life as there is about the beginning.  We come together to surround, support, remember, love, laugh, eat, and yes, mourn.  We put our lives on hold and say, "We remember.  We appreciate.  This matters.  This life matters.  The absence of this life matters.  We who remain matter to each other."  This is one of the few remaining truly sacred things we do.  That probably sounds crazy to everyone but me, but I find it beautiful.

 

This is not to say that I'm not sad.  I am.  My sister and my cousins all have families who knew Grandpa.  I just have stories.  Grandpa won't be at my wedding, or at my graduation.  I won't have photos of Grandpa with my kids.  I won't get Christmas cards in Spanish.  Or encouraging letters.  I won't open the pantry door to find Grandpa's stash of Squirt, or find partial Bible verses and definitions written on post-it notes on the tile backsplash in the kitchen.  There aren't going to be any new stories of someone entrapping him in a traffic accident and then him following them across LA to a creepy car repair place "for the adventure" of it.  I'm sad, for sure.  Sometimes terribly so.  But I've also learned so much and been given an example of what a life faithfully lived and ended with dignity looks like.  How can I be sad about that?

 

I know that I am unusually fortunate to have the family that I do.  Sometimes we're a mess, but most of the time we have grit and joy.  Those two things are hard to hold in tension (to use a theology school word) with each other.  I'm also fortunate to have wonderful friends (or as I like to think of them, the family I choose) who shower me/us with encouragement, prayers, and more physical forms of help like note taking for classes.  I'm also extremely fortunate to have professors who understand the importance of family especially in times of crisis, and that I have been given the flexibility to be where I need to be. 

So to everyone who has helped me/us, whether with the tangibles or the intangibles, thank you.  Thank you in advance to everyone who is going to have to hear stories of Grandpa in the weeks and months ahead.  Thank you to those who are helping with the service tomorrow.  Thank you to those who helped Grandpa in these last few years of his life when he wasn't as robust as he would have liked.  But most of all, thank you to Grandpa for the generosity, love, lessons, laughter, and zaniness.  We were paying attention.

Snarkhaven

So I've been back in Boston for two-ish weeks now.  I moved into an unfurnished house, so we had to come up with nearly everything.  This is kind of stressful when you are living 1500 miles from home and don't have the same freedom of movement that you would at home with a car.  I need to go to the grocery store and buy eggs, milk, flour, sugar, mixing bowls, lettuce, peanut butter, olive oil, frozen chicken, oranges, a hammer, light bulbs, toilet paper, batteries, twine, a knife, an absorbent mat to go under the dish drainer, etc. -- all that crap you don't realize you don't have until you don't have it.  And then you want me to carry it home on the subway and then up the hill to my house....what?  But it has all worked out beautifully.

Emma schlepped us around the first weekend to do all the basic grocery shopping.  People brought us furniture, kitchen goods, bathroom mats, tables...so many tables..., cups, dish rags, cleaning supplies, lamps, a DVD rack, a 13" TV/DVD -- so many things.  I'm not good at asking for help, or asking for support.  I tend to do things on my own, so for me this has been a real blessing.  It's wonderful actually.

I painted my room the first weekend I was here.  And we finally got almost everything situated after the pre move-in cleaning happened on Wednesday night (from 8:40pm to 1:15am...13 days after we moved in...).  So now that things are mostly situated, here are photos of my new digs!

This is the front of the house.  The porch on the right is all ours!  Also, this is my first day of school photo--don't I look excited!

For you visual types, here's a floor plan of the abode.  It's mostly to scale. 

So this is my room.  The green walls have been banished!  I painted it a nice, neutral, relaxing, cool gray.  Hopefully whoever moves in next can live with it.  The only piece of furniture in here that I purchased was the bed/mattress.  Everything else was given to us, left here, or found.  The desk is really great, and the built in is WONDERFUL.  As you can see I don't have a closet, but we found an over the door bar, so I'm using that for the few things that must be hung.  Everything else goes in the built in.  I'm using the music I bought at last year's library sale for decorations.  When I have a hammer I'll probably hang them, but I also like them as they are.  I need natural light to feel like a human being, so I'm excited to have so many windows.  I'm also pretty in love with the orange chair I found in the basement.  And of course, the weird blue pillow that Mom made me.

Here's a close up of the built in.  I'm pretty sure this room used to be the dining room.

This is the living room, complete with piano that badly needs to be tuned -- just like home!  There's also a card table and four folding chairs back there.  Finally my high school geometry pays off!  The brown chair by the french doors came from the chapel at school.  The couch (a sectional we've separated) came from a friend as did the coffee table and TV.  Eventually the chair will go into the Great Hall where you currently see the filing cabinets from the old church...you should always let your tenants have access to your church records.

This is the hallway to the kitchen and the kitchen.  We painted the hallway and the back of the door to the basement with chalkboard paint.  Desi picked up a toaster oven on the side of the road -- it's sitting next to the sink.  This is approximately 13,000 times more cabinet space than we had last year.  The windows look out onto a tiny yard with a deck and patio furniture.

The top left photo is the Great Hall looking out into the entry way.  There are 4 doors in the 3 square feet of that entry way.  The bottom left photo is looking into the Great Hall from the entry way.  I hate that red color.  The glass fronted cabinet was here when we got here. The doorway there goes into the bathroom -- I didn't take photos.  I'm sure you've seen one before.  The statue of John Wesley at the top right was also here when we moved in.  He's making sure we stay out of trouble.  And lastly, I just love this chair.  And the pillow.

So that's the new place.  It's in a great location in a neat part of town.  It feels a little like the area behind Drury, which is nice for me.  We're near a really neat historic park with easy access to public transit.  The commute into school (and then further in to work) is kind of a bummer, but not the end of the world.

Oh, and we've decided to call the place 'Snarkhaven'.  Which makes a lot of sense if you know us.

It's 9pm, do you know where your Slurpees are?